"I like that boulder. That's a very nice boulder" Donkey (Eddie Murphy) in Shrek

In the movie Shrek, Donkey is trying really hard to come up with something nice to say about Shrek’s swamp and the only thing he can come up with is the line "I like that boulder. That's a very nice boulder". Well I don’t have a nice line for the last couple of days and there are no nice boulders sitting around to compliment. I wish I could come up with something positive to say about this, but I can't. You see, I am heading back at Mayo for another esophageal dilation. Yes, I knew it was coming, and I had an appointment schedule for December 17^th. The only question was would I make it to that date. The answer to that question would be NO!

The team at Mayo is scrambling to move schedules around to get me in this Friday. Why the rush? Nothing is staying down and I am back on a pureed diet. I have lost six pounds in the last four days. Remember when I mentioned that there was this weight line that they did not want me to cross. Well I just crossed it, well actually I just kind of blew by it and didn't look back to even wave goodbye. That number was 194. They did not want my weight to fall below 194 pounds, it has to do with my weight/height ratio. On Saturday I weighed 196.5 pounds. It was a little closer than the doctors would have liked, but as long as I stayed there I was good. Well, this morning, I weighed 190.5 pounds. For those of you keeping score, that puts my total weight loss since August 4^th at 61.5 pounds.

This all started Sunday night. We had a nice dinner and everything seemed to be working just fine. Then about 8:00 pm I started getting sick. I was doubled over in pain and throwing everything up. Heck, I even threw up my long island and that made me sad. My wife considered taking me to the local emergency room, but their experience with stomachless patients is limited. The Mayo Clinic said I should have called them, but they would have wanted me to head down there and we were expecting 4-6 inches of snow so that two and a half hour drive was out of the question. I also do not want to be readmitted to the hospital. I am fine with a visit here or there, but I want to be done with the whole overnight stay thing. I will sleep in my own bed from now on thank you.

I did not go to work on Monday and felt better as the day progressed, however I still couldn’t keep anything down. I returned to work on Tuesday and tried to munch on snacks as much as possible with mixed results. I called Mayo and, as you might have guessed, they were less than pleased with my decisions but are working to get me scheduled in this Friday. They have me on a pureed diet again, which consist of soups and mashed potatoes and gravy. The soups can have nothing in them, no meat, no vegetables or no potatoes. So that kind of leaves me with tomato soup and broth and I am not a huge fan of either, so mashed potatoes it is.

I am shedding weight on a daily basis and not sure how they will react if and when I show up down there weighing less than 190 pounds, which is a real possibility. I guess I will find out when I get there.
Other than that, I don't have much more to say today, this is the type of situation that gets on your nerves and sours your attitude really quick.

I hope you all have a great day.

Go west young man, haven’t you been told

California’s full of whisky, women and gold

Sleeping out all night beneath the desert stars

Dream in my eye and a prayer in my heart

I should’ve been a Cowboy

(Should’ve Been a Cowboy  Toby Keith)