Unemployed Week 7.... Stomachless in Greenland.

Remember in the movie The Princess Bride, Vezzini (Wallace Shawn) is verbally running down Fezzik (Andre the Giant) and ask him “do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, in Greenland!”  Well, that is kind of how I feel right now and since I am stomachless the title of this blog just fit. 

So has being stomachless affected me in my job search? For the most part no, but there was an “oh crap” moment. 

I am still unemployed. My days are spent researching companies. Writing cover letters and sending them out to perspective employers. Most of the time I get computer generated responses saying "thanks for stopping, thanks for shopping".  However once in a while I will get an email back from a real person. You need to have that email, from a real person, to set up a phone interview with a person to hopefully get in to have face to face with a person or two. 

So finally I had made it past a computer. I had made it through a couple of phone interviews and all the way to when they decided to bring me in for a series of  in person interviews. These interviews were going to take a good part of the day and they let me know that they were going to “bring in lunch”.

Here is where not having a stomach more than just kind of sucks.
They were going to bring in lunch. This should be interesting.
There is so much that I still can’t eat, so much that still gets stuck, so many foods that I just stay away from. I could only hope that whatever they decided to “bring in” was something I could eat while still answering questions during the interview.

For me, the key to eating is to eat slowly and make sure that I chew everything completely. When I have problems or something gets stuck it usually is because I wasn’t paying attention to how well I was eating. In most cases I was trying to talk and eat at the same time. Which is exactly what I was going to be doing over this lunch.
Well luckily for me “bringing in lunch” meant going down to their cafeteria and ordering something. There was plenty to chose from so I decided to play it safe with a bowl of soup. This time it turned out fine. I ended up not getting the job, but I did make it through lunch. What happens the next time when the interview is scheduled over lunch and they really do bring something in?
What happens then?  

There is a spot on all online applications now where you have the option to disclose if you have a disability. There are so many choices to select from major depression, missing an arm, or missing a limb. There isn’t one for missing your stomach, or any other major organ that might have been removed for one reason or another.
So what will happen when I do get a new job. Will there be any buyers remorse once they find out about my missing stomach. I hope not, but that day should be interesting to say the least.

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind

(Drops of Jupiter  Train)