Just so you know I write this with a heavy heart today.
Why do we do what we do???
This question is a question that I have asked myself time and time again. What if I hadn't made the decision to have my stomach removed. Where would I be right now?
I think about it a lot at these points in time. Times when life reaches out and slaps you across the face saying you got nothing. You see a young lady I had a chance to get to know some died on Monday. From brain cancer. She was 26 or 27. Way too young.
Now on Saturday I will be going to a funeral. For someone I had recently gotten a chance to know, to support the guy she was supposed to marry and pay respect to folks I didn't know.
All along knowing that I survived, but I am not sure why.
For those of you who know me, know that I had a brain tumor in 2010. In the end the tumor came back benign. I now know two other people who had brain tumors, neither were benign and both are gone now. First Mike and now Allie. It really sucks. Cancer sucks.
Why was mine benign where there's were not. Why am I still here, when they are not?
What happened in my life to make me miss the shit that comes with cancer.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy it passed me by, but I wonder why me?
My tumor was benign. Case closed. I have had six MRI's and the tumor has not reappeared.
Then in 2015 I had my stomach removed due to crappy luck. The crappy luck part was that my little sister had to get breast cancer in order for me to find out that there was a 86% chance that I would catch a terminal cancer. She had to endure so much. She had to go through so much.
It is just at times like these I wonder what happened? There are no answers. Life just happens.
Cancer just sucks.
Please don't feel like you need to post anything to this blog. Sometimes I need it just to rant a little.
Thanks for listening...
Pack my bag and let's get moving
'Cause I'm bound to drift awhile
Though I'm gone, gone
You don't have to worry
Long as I can see the light
(Long As I Can See The Light Creedence Clearwater Revival)
