Scars...

I was scanning through Facebook posts the other day when I came across this image and decided that I wanted to share it.

I have the wounds. I have the scars. Heck I even added a few more scars yesterday with the latest surgery on my eye. So at the end of all this, what will my story say?

Right now I am kind of a mess.
My right eye is completely covered with a bandage so I can't tell what the eye is going to look like. I can tell you that the doctor did say that healing was going to take three to six months and he also mentioned that it was going to look a "little rough' for a while.
I tried to get some clarity around a "little rough" but he said everyone comes out a little different. It's just that there is a big difference between having dark circles around you eye because you need a nap and what your eye looks like after taking fist to it. A BIG difference.
Well I am supposed to take the dressing off later this afternoon so I will know shortly.

The surgery went as about normal as it could with me. Meaning there was some slight complications. Instead of taking two hours to complete it took three and a half hours. The plan was to fix the bottom eyelash, but when they got in there they found that the top eyelash has started to roll inward also so they needed to fix that one as well. There was also a lot more scaring in the area then they had hoped for so they needed to clean that up before they could continue with the repair work. In the end though the surgeon was pleased with the outcome and feels confident that I have this part of the journey behind me.
The next step will be trying to get both eyes to play nice together again. Which will mean another surgery.

I don't know what my story should say, but this chapter heading should be titled.
Hey Idiot Don't Do This Again!

It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's My Life  Bon Jovi)

November..

I am going to take a break from the latest misadventures of Roger to get back to the topic that this blog has been about. My life without a stomach.


You see November is stomach cancer awareness month. It gives me time to reflect and remember why I had my stomach removed. A time to remember why all the trials and complications were worth it.


Don't get me wrong there are days when not having a stomach really sucks and the upcoming holidays will magnify the suckness of the missing item. The office will be lined with treats and there will be the traditional holiday potluck. All of which I will need to steer clear of.
And before anyone says anything I know that suckness is not a word, but it fit.


Other than that eating is going well. I can eat one to two cups of food at a sitting. I have eaten more and in most cases it doesn't end well. I have found that eating five to six times a day is not realistic for me either so I have become a grazer. I am always eating something.
I make sure that foods I eat are high in protein and until my recent accident my weight had stabilized to a level that everyone seemed happy with. Now however I am working on trying to gain the lost weight back.
I used to get harassed by our family doctor that I needed to lose weight. "Just lose 10 pounds."  So I would lose 10 pounds and she would say good start now lets lose 10 more. Now when I go in it is "let's gain 10 pounds." There is just no pleasing her.

I can enjoy a cocktail or two. However I have found that alcohol effects me differently now that I do not have a stomach. Alcohol enters my blood stream much faster so I have to try to slow down as I drink. Mixed drinks and or wine work best which would be just fine if I didn't like craft beer as much as I do.
Supplements are normal part of my life now. I take calcium pills everyday, and since today is the third of the month, I started my day off with my monthly vitamin B12 shot.


I have had to tell the story of why I had my stomach removed to a lot of folks recently. A surprising number of them have been doctors and/or nurses. When that happens I wonder why they don't know about this CDH1 genetic mutation and it's link to stomach cancer. They should know right?
Then I remember how rare this is. In 2010 there were an estimate 110 families with the genetic link to cancer in the world. Recently I read somewhere that this number may have climbed to between four to five hundred families in the world. that is a huge increase, but in terms of the number of families this represents, it's the equivalent of a rounding error.
However we are making progress.
On November 11th, there will be a symposium going on in California surround stomach cancer and a stomachless friend of mine will be one of three people speaking there. There will be folks from all over there, so we are making headway in or quest to educate those who need it. To offer support those who need support, and raise money to one day break the link between this mutation and cancer.
Everyday brings us one step closer.


Happy Stomach Cancer Awareness month!

Like the fool I am and I'll always be,
I got a dream, I got a dream.
They can change their minds but the can't change me,
I got a dream, I got a dream

Oh, I know I could share it if you'd want me to,
If you're goin' my way, I'll go with you.

(I got a Name  Jim Croce)

Next Steps

So I spent part of the day with an eye surgeon where the sentence "Well, I got some good news and some not so good news for you". "What do you want to hear first?" was said.

Since I am an optimistic sort of guy, and it was early in the morning... I took the good news first.

The good news is that they can fix my eyesight. At least they feel they have a pretty good shot of doing it. There ended the good news.


The not so good news was that in order to completely fix my eyesight, it was going to take multiple surgeries. Now I knew that so that comment in and of itself was not unexpected. When I met with the University of Minnesota specialist, he said that they were going to have to do a few surgeries to get everything corrected. So hearing that today was anticipated.
The part I was not expecting was the urgency they are placing on the first surgery they need to do. It has nothing to do with the double vision and they are not going to address that until they get the first issue corrected. It also needs to be corrected soon or I could loose my vision all together in my right eye.
What is the first issue you ask? My eyelid. They are going to "rebuild" my eyelid.


After the second surgery on my eye, scar tissue built up under my eyelid which cause my eyelid to roll in on itself. When this happened my eyelashes were in direct contact with my eye and rubbing on it. When they did the third surgery, they made a small incision and rolled the eyelid back out. They then sewed the eyelid shut in hopes that it would heal that way. It didn't and the eyelid has rolled back in even further then it was before. The problem with this is that the rubbing on the eyeball will cause damage to the eye that is not reversible. They need to fix that ASAP.

The plan is that they are going to harvest tissue from my side and use it to replace the scared tissue under my eyelid. This will create a cushion behind my eye and prevent the eyelid from rolling back in again. According to the specialist I saw today this needs to be done now, so I can only imagine that I am not going to get a lot of time between receiving the phone call to set the appointment and the actual date of the surgery.


On a more humorous note.
The doctor was being very careful to explain exactly how they were going harvest "tissue" from my side to do the procedure. He was going on and on about for a bit and I couldn't take anymore. I told him I was running out of space in my skull for the stomach fat that everyone was putting in there. He just looked at me and stared. Some folks just don't get sarcasm..
What you are thinking?
A number of years ago I had a brain tumor. When they did the surgery to remove it they needed to fill the hole they made with something, so they harvested fat from one side of my stomach to fill it with. Now they are going to use fat from the other side to fix my eyelid. Now with all of the weight I have lost, I am running out of fat cells and with a second set of fat cells needed to fix my face, I am running out of space in my skull and face for additional fat to be added.


Things just keep getting more interesting.....


Hey listen here
Now I got mortgages on homes
I got stiffness in ma' bones
Ain't no beauty Queens in this locality (I tell you)
(Fat Bottom Girls   Queen)