This image is the first verse of the poem that has stuck with me throughout the years and I have leaned on it many times during the trials of my CDH-1 journey.
So why bring it up now? Well this week I have found myself needing it once again.
Early last week I was driving to work when all of the sudden I started to crash. I went from being wide awake singing with the radio to not being able to keep my eyes open in a matter of seconds.
A couple of days later I was in a meeting when it happened again. Earlier this week on the way home it happened again and then once again on Wednesday as I worked at the store. I go from being full of energy doing something to no energy and fighting to stay awake.
So yesterday I saw my doctor so that we could talk about it. And soon the topic of conversation switched to testing me for diabetes. Not what I wanted to hear. It does make some sense due to the fact that my father developed diabetes late in his life. But still a kick in the gut.
All I could do was stare at my doctor and shake my head. In the back of my mind I was just saying to myself I am done. I want off this road trip. She then reminded me of something I have always known. There is no destination in this journey I am on. There is no end to this where I will be once again normal". As she simply put it, "normal people do not have to have their stomachs removed".
My body is going to adjust and react differently as I get older just so it can compensate for my missing organ.
So I donated five to six more vials of blood and am waiting for the results. Besides the normal blood work, they will be checking my B12 levels and for diabetes. If my B12 levels are low I will have to begin giving myself injections every two weeks. And if I have diabetes, well let's just say that will bring a whole nother level of fun to this crazy mixed up life I live.
In the event that these test do not show anything out of the ordinary, I was given a referral to have a nutritional study done at the University of Minnesota. My doctor believes that the issue is most likely that something is missing from my diet and this is my body's way telling me. The study should be able to help identify it. This study request was sent to my insurance company to see if the cost of the study will be covered.
So I sit and wait. Are we having fun yet?
Instead of a song I am going to place the Don't Quit Poem here. There is no author attributed to it so I do not know who wrote it. It has helped me in the past and did again this week. I would also like to thank a good friend of mine for introducing me to it many years ago. Thanks Tim.
Don't Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, when the road you're trudging seems all uphill, when the funds are low and the debts are high, and you want to smile, but you have to sigh. When care is pressing you down a bit. Rest if you must, but don't you quit.