A New Beginning.....

So I have a question for you. 

When taking off a band aid, which do you prefer?

1. To slowly peel the band aid back, all the while trying not to pull out every hair that is stuck with it. The goal here is to remove the band aid. Leave the hair intact . All while causing the least amount of pain as possible.       OR...
2. You just rip it off and get it over with? Leave bare patch of skin where the hair used to reside. You might scream and holler like a two year old at first, but a couple seconds into it you are just fine.

Why would I ask this?

My days of unemployment are coming to an end. I have accepted an offer to return to work with a company out of Inver Grove Heights Minnesota. I will be starting work on April 10^th right after we return from a quick trip out to North Carolina to see Jenny, Sam and our Grandson Remi.

Now I have been out of work since January 1^st and this new position is an amazing opportunity, with an amazing company, that should reward and challenge me for years to come. 

However with the start of this new chapter in my life brings up the question of what to tell and when. To be specific how or when do I tell them that I am missing my stomach. I know that I do not have to tell them anything, but lets be honest, it is going to come out one way or another. Heck there is a real possibility that that I will not even make it out of day number one without it coming up. Since this is the first time I have started a new job since I had the surgery, what do I do? Do I just let it come up and work through it, or do I just rip off the band aid off, tell them and get it over with.  

Secretly I am dreading that first day, where the team says “let’s take the newbie to lunch.”

What if they decide to do that and take me to a buffet? Remember I am a horrible date at a buffet.

What if they decide to take me to a place like Subway or Davanni’s where my lunch options are really limited? I love both of these places, but have not eaten there since I had my stomach removed.

Believe it or not the best place for me to go to lunch at is a bar and I am not sure how that will look on day one. Bar appetizers are almost the perfect size, I can eat one third to one half depending on what it is. The rest can be boxed up and I will have lunch for the next couple of days. But going to a bar for lunch on your first day, may send the wrong signal to my new co-workers.

Still if I don’t tell them, and we go to lunch, the group will be staring at me wondering why the heck I am not eating. Do I not like the place that they chose? Do I not like the food? Do I not like to eat? Why is he so skinny? Is he sick? Should we have hired him in the first place? Now none of these question may come up on the first day, but they might. And if they do I am going to have to tell them. So what do I do. The first few days is when teams and executives want to meet the newbie and see what they are all about. It is my opportunity to give them a good first impression of who I am, and I really don't want the fact that I do not have a stomach to dampen the day. The fact that I do not have a stomach has nothing to do with who I am professionally, but it is still there. It is always there as shadow over everything I do. 

What to tell and when. This should be interesting to say the least.  I will let you know how it goes.. 

Maybe they will wait until day two and then it is no big deal!

And though it's always been with me
I must tear down the wall let it be
All I am, and all that I was ever meant to be, in harmony
Shining true and smiling back at all who wait to cross
There is no loss
(The Wall    Kansas)

In The End Was It Worth It?

Last week ended on a tough note and it brought back a question I have asked myself many times since that day I was told I had the CDH1 mutation.
Did I accomplish anything by having my stomach removed?

You see I spent Friday and Saturday saying good-bye to someone I have know for a number of years. We were not super close, however I got to know him as we played softball together on the church softball team.
He was the young speedy quick player on the team that could stretch a single into a double or a double into an in the park home run. I on the other hand was the not so speedy quick player on the team who could stretch a singe into a single and easily stretch a double into a single as well.

They say you have two times and dates stamped into your life. The day you are born and the day that you die. Everything else is up to you and the decisions you make. If you believe that then it really brings into question whether or not having my stomach removed changed anything. I still have that end date stamped into my "being". There is still an expiration date on my time here and I am not sure that by having my stomach removed changed that date at all.

He was 33 and in great shape. A son, a husband, a father and his life ended in a tragic car accident. He got up went to work and never came home. His time on this earth had ended. I have to believe that if he knew what was going to happen on that day that he would have done something. Changed his route. Changed the time that he left for work or even called in sick. If he had would that have change that days outcome? Would his end date moved?

That's what I did. I changed the path that I might have been on. I got the warning shot that my friend did not. Did I accomplish anything by having my stomach removed?
Did I move my end date? I don't know.
I know that I will not die of stomach cancer.
Still did I change that date?
We will just have to sit back and see how this life plays out.

Two, three count with nobody on
He hit a high fly into the stand
Rounding third he was headed for home
(Brown Eyed Handsome Man   Chuck Berry)

Rest in peace Matt.