Deja Vu

Happy Thursday everyone. 

Today is my last day in the office until this whole situation is over. 

Would you believe that this is the second time in my life that I have had to write that line? Not only is it the same line, it was written during the same week of July as this one, just in 2010. The July 2010 line was written just before I had a brain tumor removed on August 2^nd . The brain tumor was found earlier in the year and I was taking off work to have it removed at the University of Minnesota. Now in the year 2015, I write the same line as I prepare for another surgery. Next Tuesday’s surgery to remove my stomach will happen at the Mayo Clinic exactly 5 years and 2 days later. 

I find myself wondering what next week will hold for me. How will my life change once they remove my stomach? Will I feel different without my stomach? I know I will lose weight, but just how much and how fast?  I will be able to eat, but eat what? My sister had some prime rib with us last Saturday, but that was 6 months after her surgery. How long will it take for me to be able to eat semi-normally again? I am both nervous and anxious to get this event done with. I know that in the end the decision to remove my stomach is correct, but as we get closer to the date, the “what ifs” start to creep in. I just keep telling myself that, at the end of the day, my stomach is plotting to kill me. It has come down to me against my stomach, one last time, for all the marbles. 

I have a couple of things to do before we head to Rochester Monday morning.Tonight I am getting together with bunch of folks from work at Sgt. Peppers in Oakdale for a quick cocktail or two. I have one more shift at the store and then the Hanover Harvest Festival on Saturday. I ordered a 1/6 keg of one of my favorite beers for Saturday. It is called Mama’s Little Yella Pils out of Colorado. So if you are in the area stop by and share a cold one with us.

My surgery is currently set to begin at the time “TBD”.  The surgeon has a morning procedure and an afternoon procedure. I guess it just depends on what time he made my reservations for. We will find out what time the surgery is when we meet with Dr. Kendrick’s team on Monday.

Have a great day everyone!

'Cause I have wandered through this world
And as each moment has unfurled
I've been waiting to awaken from these dreams
People go just where there will
I never noticed them until I got this feeling
That it's later than it seems

(Doctor My Eyes  Jackson Browne)

Food Tour.. The One And Only Stop

Now it seems to be customary to do a food tour before you have your stomach removed.  For whatever reason I never got into doing one.  Don’t get me wrong, as I have said before, I love to eat and I do it well.  There are also a lot of different restaurants that enjoy eating at.  Yet for some reason eating out never made it to the top of the list of things that I wanted to get done before the surgery. There were other places to go and things to accomplish and none of them revolved around eating. 

Except for last night.  Prime Rib dinner at the River Inn.  It is my favorite meal and my favorite place to eat it at.  Over my career I have had the opportunity to eat prime rib at many different establishments. The prime rib at the River Inn is the best that I have found and the standard by which I hold all others up to.  If you are ever out this way, on a Friday or a Saturday you should plan on checking it out.  Rick, Jody and the staff there really do prepare some of the best prime rib you will ever have.  Please be prepared to wait to get seated because the place it hopping on these nights, but the food is worth the wait.

Another great part of last night was that Edie and I got to share the evening with my sister Melanie and her husband Jim.  If you have been reading my blogs, then you know that Melanie had her stomach removed back in January.  She is an amazing lady that has make the decision not to let life pass her by just because she doesn’t have a stomach any longer.  She drank beer and ate prime rib with us last night, 6 months after her surgery.  That again gives me hope that even though I am going through this that things will get back to normal soon.

The rest of my timeline looks like this

4 days of work at Blount left

3 shifts at the store

The Hanover Harvest festival a week from today

Surgery a week from Tuesday.

Have a great week.

So you live from day to day, and you dream about tomorrow, oh.

And the hours go by like minutes and the shadows come to stay

(Wasted Time  Eagles)

One thing I will miss. Event #3

Growing up we lived on a farm 8 miles outside of Princeton Minnesota.  To get to the farm you had to traverse a few miles of dirt roads, and depending on which way you went, a number of small quick dropping hills.   I can remember leaving the farm and just hoping that my parents would head out the back way with all the hills.  No matter what speed they went you would hit the top of one of those hills and you would be able to feel your stomach drop.  Laughter and giggles would follow every time.

Now I looked up why we get this feeling and it literally is what it is called, a stomach drop.  Even though all of your organs are connected, they are free to move a bit. When every part of your body accelerates at an equal rate you get a brief second of weightlessness.  Then you experience a brief second of a free fall as you drop back to earth.  Your stomach does the same thing.  No harm done, it just needs to adjust back to its normal seated location in your body.

I love that feeling.  I have since I was a young kid and due to that I love rollercoasters.  The feeling as your butt leaves the seat and comes down faster than your stomach does.  Today, for event #3,  I got to feel that feeling all over again, Valley fair amusement park.  They say that once you have your stomach removed that this feeling becomes a memory.  So with that in mind we hit rollercoaster after rollercoaster, ride after ride.  It was hot (94 degrees) and we spent time at the waterpark getting wet.  It was a great day!  

One of the rides at the park is called the Ripcord.  It cost extra, and as many times as I have been to Valley Fair, I had never ridden it.  I guess it was something about being raised 18 stories in the air and then dropped that kept me from doing it.  However, today, as a fitting way to send my stomach out in style, my youngest daughter Maddie paid for her and I to take the plunge.  18 stories up and I had to reach back and pull the ripcord that would cause Maddie and I to plummet towards the ground at 65 MPH! What an incredible rush.

I read somewhere that other organs can cause a similar feeling to that of the stomach drop.  I hope so.  I hope I can still experience and enjoy rollercoasters and rides like the Ripcord like I do now.  I hope that this situation and upcoming surgery does not remove laughter and giggles from these little experiences that I have enjoyed my entire life.  That would suck.

Yet, tonight on the way home, there was this spot.  It is at a stoplight heading out of Maple Grove on County Road 30.  Everyone knows that if you catch the light green you can get the same feeling.  You just have to be going fast enough....  Tonight the light was green!

Sun is up time's at hand
There's a stir across the land
And so begins another day
On life's highway

(Life’s Highway  Steve Wariner)

"Don’t tell me, we are about to go over a huge waterfall? “Yep” Sharp rocks at the bottom? “Most likely” Bring it on.” The Emperor’s New Grove.

This morning we were moving my son into his new apartment and I came to the realization that I am running out of time before the surgery.  

22 days left before I have to be down at the Mayo Clinic.

14 days left of work at Blount.

6 shifts left at the store.

3 Fridays 

3 Saturdays

Then everything changes. 

When our nephew Jonathan was up, he got us a very nice bottle of wine to drink.  We started talking about plans for a nice meal that included the bottle of wine for our anniversary.  Steaks on the grill, mushrooms, baked potatoes and the wine.  Just a nice relaxing dinner.  One problem, our anniversary is on September 3rd.  For the most part, all of that meal will be off the menu for me. That is, unless I run it through a blender first.  

Happy Anniversary.

Can I just say that this sucks?  Am I allowed to say that? Because it does. 

I keep telling myself “I got this”.  Got what?  Who am i kidding? I am just tied to that branch floating down the river towards the waterfall with Kusco. There will be a sudden stop on the 4th followed by some pain. The pain gets covered by drugs.  However the rest changes are a little more permanent.  Diet coke, gone. Those who know me know that I live on that stuff. It is my coffee, my drug of choice to get this old body up and running. I assume Coke’s stock price will plummet shortly after the 4th.  I will need to learn to eat all over again.  Slower, smaller portions, more often during the day. I told myself that I had plenty of time to condition my body to this new way of life. I guess I failed at that one.  

Ok.  Pity blog done.  I just needed to write it and get it out of my system.  I got this.  Really I do.  Valleyfair on the 17th.  The Harvest Festival on August 1st. Then down to Mayo on the 3rd.  

Yea, I got this.  My only real worry needs to be that I don't come out of surgery as a Lama.  

Bring it on  BOO-YEAH

Some rain, some shine. We’ll make this a world for two

Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime

We’ll take the best, forget the rest

And someday we’ll find

These are the best of times

(Best of times   STYX)

Happy 4th of July.

Happy 4th of July Everyone!

I hope that, wherever you are celebrating, you are having a safe and enjoyable weekend. 

We are in Spirit Lake Iowa celebrating with my daughter and her husband. It is always good to get down here and spend time with them. We brought our bikes down and will get to spend some time exploring some of the many bike paths around the city. Jenny and Sam live right off one of the main trails, so we can walk out the front door and have access to all of the lakes in the area. The weekend will be filled with music, laughter, food and some adventure.

This past week was packed with some emotional events to say the least.

• We got a chance to catch up with our nephew from Texas. He came up to spend the week with us. It is always great to see him. He headed home this morning.
• Our son announced that he would be moving out this weekend. It is good to see him spread his wings some more, but scary none the less. The house loses some of it's character when he is not around. 
• We also released the squirrels we were raising into the backyard on Tuesday. They will stick around for a few weeks and then will be gone. If squirrels had thumbs, they would rule the world.  We're just sayin.... 
• Oh, and I have 30 days until I am due in Rochester...

So, one month from today I have the surgery to have my stomach removed...

I could tell you that I am at peace with my decision, but that would be a lie. The nerves and second guessing have set in and are in complete control. I am told that this is normal, but it doesn't make it any easier. Am I making the right decision? There has got to be a better option.  Wouldn't it be easier to just ignore it and hope it doesn't catch up to me? Who in the heck removes their stomach?
I keep reading about new advancements in cancer treatment, I just don't hear about them happening with stomach cancer. I guess that I could go in and have the endoscopy to test for stomach cancer every year. Just hope that they do not find anything and pray that the biopsies come back clear.  In the end though waiting would be like playing a game of Russian Roulette with cancer. I would be placing my hope that, year after year, I could dodge the chamber of the gun that has stomach cancer in it. I just need to keep reminding myself that I have done the research and the surgery is what is best for me,

In other words, my dance card is still set for an August 4th date with Dr. Kendrick and his team.

There are still some things I need to do before I head down to the Mayo Clinic:
A day at Valleyfair (July 17th).
The Hanover Harvest Festival (August 1st)
Final prime rib dinner at the River Inn (TBD)
My last day of work will be Friday July 30th.  There will need to be a small happy hour at Sgt. Peppers in Oakdale.

Since I am me, I have figured out a way to bookend these final 30 days with fireworks. Tonight here in Spirit Lake for the 4th and then again in Hanover on August 1st for the Hanover Harvest festival. The month of Roger comes in and goes and out with a bang!

A special thank you out goes to all of our military personnel who protect our freedom and make sure that this day can happen year after year.

Happy 4th everyone!

Funny days in the park
Every day's the Fourth of July
People reaching, people touching
A real celebration
Waiting for us all
If we want it, really want it
(Saturday In The Park   Chicago)